25 Things my Mother Taught me!

25 Things my Mother Taught me!

1. My mother taught me: To appreciate a job well done!

“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside, I’ve just finished cleaning up!”

2. My mother taught me: Religion!

“You better pray that will come out of the carpet!”

3. My mother taught me about Time Travel!

“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me: Logic!

” Because I said so, that’s why!”

5. My mother taught me: More Logic!

“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, I’m not going to get sausages for tea!”

6. My mother taught me: Foresight!

“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident!”

7. My mother taught me Irony!

“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about!”

8. My mother taught me about: The Science of OSMOSIS!

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

9. My mother taught me about: Contortionism!

“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about: Stamina!

“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone!”

11. My mother taught me about: Weather!

“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it!”

12.My mother taught me about: HYPOCRISY!

“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me about: The Circle of Life!

“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!”

14. My mother taught me about: Behaviour Modification!

“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about: Envy!

“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”

16. My mother taught me about: Anticipation!

“Just wait until we get home!”

17. My mother taught me about: Receiving!

“You ain’t half gonna get it when I get you home!”

18. My mother taught me: Medical Science!

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way!”

19. My mother taught me ESP!

“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me: Humour!

“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me!”

21. My mother taught me: How to become an adult!

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up!”

22. My mother taught me: Genetics!

“You’re just like your father!”

23. My mother taught me about: My roots!

“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn!”

24. My mother taught me: Wisdom!

“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand!”

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about: JUSTICE!

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

Source:

https://www.thespoof.com/jokes/11158/25-things-my-mother-taught-me